5 things I never expected in my Cul-de-sac...

ONE:

Awaken from a deep slumber at 2am to a couple fighting on my front lawn...the Husband had a huge Black Eye the next day. His explanation was “My wife, not for wanting to, but in a fit of rage, hurled a book at my eye.” Right...because a book to the face could cause a perfect black circle.

TWO:

Ohhh B-Money(which is an alias...his real name cannot be revealed), he claimed to be a recovering Meth addict...which fit since he only had like 3 teeth & was not the brightest brick...what didn’t fit was that a Meth lab was found in his house when he “Gave it back”. Apparently that’s the new phrase people use instead of “Foreclosure”...it just sounds better. So yeah, current Meth addict probably fit better. B-Money also bread “pure-blood” dogs...I saw them...there was nothing pure about a single one. The circumstances under which I saw the plethora of dogs occurred 4 days after B-Money “gave his house back”...I watched from a distance as 20+ Animal Control Officers caged 40+ dogs and 60+ cats...I now know Animal Hording is real.

THREE:

The police/fire-truck/ambulance frequented our cul-de-sac about twice a week once K-razy & ThugLife moved in. (nicknames for Mom & 20 yr old Son) One day ThugLife kept yelling at his truck from the 2^nd story window. After 3 hours he asked me “Miss...do you see anyone in that truck.” I told him no. He yelled...”Where did the Fu**e&$ go?” It’s hard to explain that no one was ever in the truck to someone who is constantly tripping on acid.

FOUR:

SWAT to bombard the cul-de-sac, shut us all in our houses, and told us to get away from all the windows...WTF????????????? I guess that’s the protocol when a person is suicidal and armed.

FIVE:

We hear a loud clash and of course I thought it was metal falling off a roof...not even kind of close...it was the sound of our neighbor shooting his wife in the head and then shooting himself in the car parked in the driveway. Once again WTF...

So yeah...our next neighborhood will be Rainbows and Gumdrops compared to this.