The Incident

Over 4 months of silence on the Brown Blog has brought about many great expectations for the next post..

I could have blogged Halloween...where Ben was Joe Dirt...And I was a Giant Banana...

I could have blogged Thanksgiving...where for the second time, Mom’s game resulted in Uncle Bobby being Mountain and Dad a Pickle...

I could have blogged how awesome Hawaii was...

How crazy Ben is...Or how cute Avery is...

I could have blogged the witnessing of Chase learning to ride his bike in 2 days in Vegas...

The twins finding out how Mascara makes you pretty...

Kandice microwaving pre-cooked bacon for 7 minutes (so unnecessary)...

Lyse posing every chance she gets...
And then not posing since mean Aunt Cassie wouldn't let her jump out of the Ferris Wheel...

I could have blogged Christmas and the Horse Drawn Carriage we Caroled from...

The chaos this many people staying at 3290 River Park Dr are capable of...

Or the serious questions I keep having about the “males” in my family:

I could have blogged about so much...and after months and months of anticipation from fans nationwide...I chose to blog “The Incident”:

It was Friday afternoon...and I was feeling spent. A series of unfortunate events lead to 50+ hours of my presence at work in the week and still not finished. So, to say the least, I was ecstatic to be home before the sun went down. I had the rest of my day all figured out...I was going to change real quick and then take the dogs for a super long walk, because I love to do that and they love to do it with me. When I opened the door I knew something was not right...”oh no...Poop...”

Rogue was lying in the most submissive position any animal could achieve. I shot him a look and if he could have gone flatter to the ground at that point, he would have. This was clearly not his doing...thus him being in the living room and not on his mounding pillow of a bed.

I walked into the hallway and the smell became was so pungent, I gagged twice. Fine, I’ll just breathe through my mouth. But even breathing through my mouth with my nose securely plugged with my fingers was not enough. I could taste the smell...and it was getting worse the farther I ventured.

I look into the room and was frankly shocked; who knew a little dog could create this horrific scene. Zoe apparently felt an incredibly strong need to release all her waste in the form of diarrhea, which was enough to have easily filled a gallon jug. Once the deed was done she thought “well, I don’t want to have to sit in this shit...”(pun intended)...So she proceeded to flip the blankets over to cover it up. Problem being that Zoe is not-so-much coordinated...especially not in small spaces. I imagine her paws had to of been flying everywhere because I don’t know how else to get poop splatter on 2 walls, all over the carpet, all over rogues pillow, and MOSTLY all over herself.

Ok, I just need to get her outside and this will all be fine. (The last positive thought I will think for 24 hours...)

I cracked open her kennel door just enough to grab the back of her neck, since she had no collar. She seemed totally calm and cooperative while she slowly made her way out of the kennel...then as her front two paws cleared the kennel door she bolted. Now, let me just say that I had quite the grip on her...but the combination of poop residue greasing up her scruff and the fact that she is pit-bull and could pull a semi-truck if she felt like it, put me at a large disadvantage. After bolting she (as she always does) ran into the door & door jam on her way out...leaving poop marks in her dust.

I should also mention that Zoe does not react well to anger...yelling encourages her to takes off...and well...I’m a yeller by nature. So she bolts, I yell, she tries to get as far away from me as possible. She managed to frantically scurry down the hall, (spraying poop) hit 3 walls, (evidenced by the poop marks) spin a lap in the living room (leaving some poop) and skidding across the kitchen floor (as once again, trail of poop) before I finally got her outside.

I shut the door to the Poop Room and sat down on one of the few non-poop areas of the floor... where to start? I briefly considered not dealing with it at all but that idea was so bad I threw up in my mouth. Needless to say, I found most of the items Zoe poop had victimized, unsalvageable...and promptly threw them out, making the task at hand at least a little easier. 5 hours later I was able to relax in a poop free house...although the trauma I underwent during the cleaning left the poop smell lurking in my sinuses where it reemerges every now and then to increase my paranoia that there is still poop, that I somehow missed, hiding in my house.